Familial Criminal
Dear Journal,
I knew I would get away with it. They are so stupid, those cops. I swear I could outsmart them every day of my life. They have no idea what they’re doing; it’s hilarious. Every time they think the have me, I get away. And then I see the look on their faces, and it’s priceless. I stump them every time and they never seem to get it.
I knew I would get away with it. They are so stupid, those cops. I swear I could outsmart them every day of my life. They have no idea what they’re doing; it’s hilarious. Every time they think the have me, I get away. And then I see the look on their faces, and it’s priceless. I stump them every time and they never seem to get it.
Well, I got away with the money and that’s all I care about. Now I can live my life because I know they will never be able to catch me. They have tried and tried again, but they never succeed. I don’t even do anything different each time. I am kind of surprised they haven’t figured it out yet. All I end up doing is slipping out the back.
The cops are overrated anyway. I honestly don’t think they are as smart as people think because they obviously are not accomplishing anything. They got to the bank when I was already done collecting all the money. Then when they actually got inside, I was already out back and leaving.
They really don’t have a good strategy for getting criminals. Not that I’m calling myself a criminal because I totally don’t think so. I am just doing whatever it takes to provide for my family, just doing whatever is necessary. There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do to provide for my family; I love them so much. And if this is what I have to do—rob banks on a daily basis—then I’m going to do it, hands down.
What was that? Wait…hold on.
Okay, it’s alright. I thought I heard something outside. It wasn’t anything. You see, for a few hours after I steal, I have to be on watch, just in case the cops decide to be intelligent. I have to be completely silent wherever I decide to hide out. I have to observe all noises and investigate in case it actually is the cops. I am very precise about these thin—
I had to check out another noise in the basement. I’m back now, though. It wasn’t anything, as far as I can tell. But really at any moment I have to be ready to leave if someone does turn up. I, however, don’t—
I didn’t think it would happen, but it did. We have to move. They came in from the basement window. Gotta run now!
Whoo, I got away. I cant believe it. They were right behind me and somehow I got away. Those cops may be stupid, but they sure can run fast. I’m tellin’ ya, I’m winded. I—
Oh, crap.
I guess I’m the stupid one after all.
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